Holding Josiah in our arms for the 1st time was bittersweet

This was taken about 5 hrs ago at 3am this morning. Erin and I were able to hold Josiah for the 1st time for about an hour. It was a bittersweet experience. It was wonderful to hold our precious little baby, but the circumstances as to why we allowed to hold him were a bit overwhelming. Our nurse gently lifted him from the bed, and put him into Erin's arms, with IV lines and sensor leads strung out like a broken cobweb behind him. It was wonderful, and it was awful.

The policy at the PCICU is to allow parents to hold their child the night before putting him through a major heart surgery in which he may not survive. Holding Josiah was a massive reality check.

Last night, the doctors let us know that through an echocardiograph done on Monday an addition condition called coartation of the aorta. This is a thin spot in the aorta, right where it needed to take on extra flow with the hybrid procedure. This leaves us with the Norwood as our only choice.

We kissed him goodbye at 7:30...